Boredom

I’m bored. I know everyone goes through a period of their lives where they experience boredom. Frustrating, mundane, dull, boredom. It’s maddening! I feel so stifled by doing the same thing every day. Get up, go to work, come home, do whatever needs done around the house, go to bed. Oh, some days are spicier than others. I go to Mass on Sunday, I take my dad to appointments and my mom shopping. My husband and I go on little adventures on days we are both off, which is rare. Please don’t misunderstand, I love my family and my husband and I love doing things with them. I think I’m just bored with myself. I’m a dull person and it’s my fault.

I’m mostly bored with my job. I’m not going to say what I do just yet. I’m just going to say that I’m in the field for all the wrong reasons. Writing is not my full time job. It’s one of my passions that I hope to someday soon turn into an income. For now, it’s something I enjoy and get a lot of joy out of. My regular job is very physically and emotionally taxing. I’ve been doing this for twenty years. Twenty long years. I just don’t think this is what I was really meant to do with my whole life. I have exceptional coworkers who are much better at this job than I am, seemingly. I have other passions and this just isn’t it

I got started in this field because when I was a housekeeper twenty-one years ago, I got tired of scrubbing toilets for minimum wage. I thought I could do better. I trained for a different job and got it. I was young and had no idea how hard it would be. I worked this job for eight years. I thought getting trained for a promotion would be easier. It was, at first. I had even dreamed of this promotion. I thought it would solve all of my problems. I had more money, better benefits, more freedom at work, and more responsibility. The responsibility is what I think is the cause of my strife.

I’m the one everyone goes to at work when something is going wrong. Something is always going wrong. Sometimes I hate hearing the sound of my own name. I took on way too much of a responsible job at a young age. I’ve never really let loose to live life. I don’t regret my life, I just wish I could enjoy it more.

I want to have experiences, if that makes sense, that I can’t while in this field. I want to have long blue hair, I want to have acrylic nails, I want to wear my own clothes on more than just my days off. I guess I just want to express my creative artistic side. You are muted in my field of work. Blend in, conform, be “normal”. This must be why I write, make TikTok videos, and make jewelry. My right brain is crying to get out.

I’ve never worked at a greenhouse or at a haunted house. Never as a waitress. Now that I’m used to the field I’m in, mostly because of the pay, my biggest fear is that I’ll never experience these things. I want to be interesting. My only interesting job I’ve had was at an amusement park. I’m just stuck… trapped. I need help.

I’m doing the best I can right now. Hopefully someday I will be able to break free.

My inspiration.

Welcome to my little adventure! I’m excited to welcome you to my blog. I thought a lot about my first post and thought I should explain what Moonlight and Hot tea mean to me. I am a night owl. I always have been. I was blessed with parents that did not set a bedtime for me as a child on non school nights. In the summer my father would cut up a watermelon, load the VCR, and kiss me goodnight as he went to work at the rubber factory. Nights were magic to me. After the videos were through, I was usually still wide awake. I would read, cross-stitch, write my journal, and create stories for our Barbie dolls. My sister would sometimes get up and ask me why I wasn’t in bed yet. I was just in my best hours. About four in the morning I would usually crawl into bed and sleep until the afternoon. My sister had already been up for hours, Mom was probably on her lunch break at the hospital, and Dad was sound asleep. Then there was me. Ready to take on the afternoon and relish in another moonlit summer night.

I continued this routine into adulthood. I deliberately work night shifts just so I can enjoy the quiet stillness of night. On my nights off, I tend to be inspired to write or work on other projects. I’ll set up in the living room, turn on the radio, open my computer, and let the moonlight and hot tea take over.

I’m just a lover of the night time. I’m in no way a dark person though. I love the sun and being outside too. There’s just a different quality of the night that is inspiring and exhilarating to me. I also love nature. If you have never walked through the woods or on the beach in the middle of the night…well it’s undescribable. It’s the most liberating feeling. You feel like you are the only one experiencing this and it’s all for you. I could go on, and I will later. I love writing about travel and other adventures. I love to find out if there’s anything new to do or see and I often write about it.

Thank you again for visiting. I hope you enjoy my little moonlit musings.

Thank you